When In Doubt, Blog About It.

I don't know what the heck is happening to me.
I can't even say for sure who I am right now.

I like to be alone.
No, totally craving human contact right now.
Want coffee, conversations, smiles...
....and here's the kicker........................emotion.
Mhmm. Want to actually feel stuff in the same way that I feel the sun on my face. Something that equates to the feeling that I get when Kittie and I are adventuring - some odd happy, enthusiastic, and just plain old mischievous feeling that tells me that the world couldn't take us on.
Like magic.
If I had to pick a word to describe it... I want to feel magic.

o_o;;

This is not me. Understand.
This.
Not.
Me.

I don't feel these kinds of emotions or get wrapped up in this kind of head-brain-emotion trauma.
I wander, but I don't wonder.
I keep to myself, do my job, and go home at the end of the day.

I don't get it.
I picked the person I'd want....
....he'd dead.
He died a long time ago.
And no one can replace him and I don't want anyone in his spot - beside me.

Damn it.

Damn.

*sigh*

I don't get this.
I don't want it.
I would prefer to put my head back on my shoulders and get back to my life. Work, eat, sleep; rinse, repeat. That schedule. Remember it?
What am I doing?

Typing as I'm thinking...that's what. I'll read over this and be ....
I don't know.

How many times can you use the word "don't" in a blog?
I think I have about 800.

...................Wtf, brain?



God.
Freaking.
Damn it.

just.
eff.